tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post114902721742292190..comments2023-11-05T02:13:37.607-06:00Comments on lemmondrops: meltdownEmiliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18186651382354924497noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149256465717499752006-06-02T08:54:00.000-05:002006-06-02T08:54:00.000-05:00If only more adults took parenting as seriously as...If only more adults took parenting as seriously as you do (sigh!)....<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing so openly, Emily. That was really poignant. <BR/><BR/>I was just wondering: Have you thought about freelancing from home? I think you'd be wonderful; you're always generating ideas and exploring curiosities.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149117906292026002006-05-31T18:25:00.000-05:002006-05-31T18:25:00.000-05:00Much love from the third sister!! Em, I love it wh...Much love from the third sister!! Em, I love it when you mother me. And I'll be there for you when you need it, always. You will make a WONDERFUL mother!<BR/>I agree with Cynthia...BURN that book!! It sounds horrible. Look at how our parents have survived 41 years, four girls, two disabled boys, and mom was home the whole time without many friends around. And they are still as in love as the day they married. <BR/>Em, you will NOT be reduced to a caregiver and maid (oooh, BURN that book!). Being a "housewife" is underrated as an administrative occupation and Steve will respect and admire that because it's for the better of both your son and for the healthy home environment he's being brought up in. It's his son too, and he needs to know it's being nurtured and his home is being tended to by his awesome, smart wife that he adores, while he is providing financial support. <BR/>The love between you and Steve created this child, and as you both grow closer to holiness through the daily grind of raising a child, your marriage will grow in ways that are different than they have been where it was just the two of you. You and Steve have a strong foundation called your marriage vows that you took before God. I believe the lack of that in our society is probably why split-ups are more common.<BR/>There will be hard times, that's to be expected. But out of necessity, you will develop relationships with other women in the same boat as you. Read the Bible...there are countless scenarios where the women of the village and their children are together working and supporting each other and the men are working. Going to the well together every day is not as fun as being with their husbands, but that's life and women instinctually establish these social networks because that's how we stay strong and keep ourselves out of ruts, and yes, even our husbands can be ruts. I think mom, for example, gets out of her rut when Pam visits each summer from Hawaii and they hit all the antique stores in Portland, without dad! Women are programmed to do this...just look at those cliques of girls we used to despise in high school....<BR/>Em, your career is not over, because you can work when the son goes back to school. Or work part-time, but I am glad you are choosing to stay home in the beginning. <BR/>You will always be a writer and an editor, but maybe not as a career in the upcoming months. If you don't work for while, you can use your writing skills to make kick-ass newsletters for your child's school, for example. You will NOT become a helpless, ditzy housewife who is afraid to drive because that's not who you are. And you won't become that way because you are in a marriage where you don't have to compromise your great qualities (like you probably would have if you were with Billy). Instead, you will be an awesome, strong mom and teacher. Steve will understand how you feel at the end of the day because he's a GREAT guy who wants to make you happy. Perhaps you could reestablish your Wednesday night date nights to give you a mid-week break from your chores at home :-)<BR/>Now that I've gone all Dr. Laura on all yo' asses....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149108625465169542006-05-31T15:50:00.000-05:002006-05-31T15:50:00.000-05:00And Liz, I really do appreciate that! And I will p...And Liz, I really do appreciate that! And I will probably take you up on your offer. :)Emiliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18186651382354924497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149108419026683782006-05-31T15:46:00.000-05:002006-05-31T15:46:00.000-05:00Lew and Selina are getting a divorce???? All right...Lew and Selina are getting a divorce???? All right, I'm taking this to e-mail.Emiliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18186651382354924497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149107628431526852006-05-31T15:33:00.000-05:002006-05-31T15:33:00.000-05:00Yes, Emilie, I do remember those Billy days, thoug...Yes, Emilie, I do remember those Billy days, though i couldn't remember his name when wrote the earlier post. He crossed my mind when I wrote, "he gets you."<BR/>Billy never did. You were unhappy while dating him. Can you imagine what your life would have been like if it had matured into something else? You would have been walking on egg shells, sitting at home alone reading a book, while he went boating with his friends.<BR/>He was selfish then and I assume he is still selfish.<BR/>Stephen sounds like a wonderful man. And based on the pictures I've seen, not too bad to look at either. (smile)<BR/>I am so happy for you, Emilie.<BR/>I was also sad to hear that Lew and Salina (sp??) were getting a divorce. Anytime a marriage ends it's sad.Cynthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01235219272457140649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149105879895261842006-05-31T15:04:00.000-05:002006-05-31T15:04:00.000-05:00I think those type of meltdowns can be very natura...I think those type of meltdowns can be very natural. I've thought about that sort of stuff before, a lot actually, and it is stressful without being pregnant and knowing that the reality will soon change.<BR/><BR/>And just so you know...I know that girlfriends aren't the same but I'm always up for coffee or even to come over and give you a break or a shower. You can call anytime!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149105048234017252006-05-31T14:50:00.000-05:002006-05-31T14:50:00.000-05:00Cynthia, you knew me back in the day, so you remem...Cynthia, you knew me back in the day, so you remember what I was like with Billy - how unhappy and anxious I was in that relationship. (And remember how much we admired Lew's marriage?!) So you are right: I do feel very lucky.<BR/><BR/>I also know how hard single motherhood can be, hearing you and my older sister talking about it. From what you write about Dion, I think you are a superb mom, and such a strong woman. I admire you so much! But I realize that doesn't make it less hard. You have a set of challenges that I don't. I just wish I lived closer to you so that I could do something real to make it easier for you, more than just pay lip service to your awesomeness!Emiliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18186651382354924497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149102990906615972006-05-31T14:16:00.000-05:002006-05-31T14:16:00.000-05:00Emilie.You wrote that with such passion and such e...Emilie.<BR/>You wrote that with such passion and such emotions that I was near tears while reading it.<BR/>I am a single mother by choice and it is hard. I truly look forward to the day when I will have a husband and a father for my son who will "take his shirt off just so I can wipe away my tears."<BR/>I envy the love that you and Stephen have. That is so wonderful. He is such a wonderful man and you and your son are lucky to have him as a part of your lives. He allows you to be you and he accepts you for you. <BR/>He supports you - emotionally... Man that is wonderful.<BR/>He gets you Emilie.<BR/>Wow.<BR/><BR/>By the way, burn that book!!!!Cynthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01235219272457140649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149099036697475162006-05-31T13:10:00.000-05:002006-05-31T13:10:00.000-05:00{{{{{{hugs}}}}}{{{{{{hugs}}}}}Barbara Marincelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12748046883382959358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149097929794543922006-05-31T12:52:00.000-05:002006-05-31T12:52:00.000-05:00Liz, my brothers (Joseph and Stephen) both have Do...Liz, my brothers (Joseph and Stephen) both have Down syndrome, pretty severely, and are blind. They live at home with our parents, who are amazing in all they've done to care for them. So ... there are six of us!Emiliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18186651382354924497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149096204997040082006-05-31T12:23:00.000-05:002006-05-31T12:23:00.000-05:00Oh, wait, I knew you had three sisters. That was j...Oh, wait, I knew you had three sisters. That was just a typo - but all this time I had no idea you had brothers! Wow. :)EDHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05479284840810262528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149091955495278842006-05-31T11:12:00.000-05:002006-05-31T11:12:00.000-05:00Liz, I actually have three sisters! Two are close ...Liz, I actually have three sisters! Two are close to my age. My two brothers and the youngest sister were born when I was old enough to feed them and change their diapers. So they are the ones I helped "take care of" — and I still feel a little motherly toward them. (I know Ellen doesn't always like it when I mother her — right, Ellen?) ;-)Emiliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18186651382354924497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149089838278478532006-05-31T10:37:00.000-05:002006-05-31T10:37:00.000-05:00I don't really have anything illuminating to say a...I don't really have anything illuminating to say about this, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I think about this problem ALL the time and I'm not even pregnant, so I can imagine the urgency with which a pregnant mom approaches it. Try not to worry. Steve is remarkably supportive and I know you'll work out a solution together.<BR/><BR/>On a side note, you said you took care of your younger brothers and sister... ? I thought you had 2 sisters? :)EDHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05479284840810262528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149088874990949992006-05-31T10:21:00.000-05:002006-05-31T10:21:00.000-05:00Thanks, Sarah. It's nice to know I'm not the only ...Thanks, Sarah. It's nice to know I'm not the only one! Steve, fortunately, is incredibly understanding of what it's going to be like. He would, in fact, like to be able to stay home more, and he's even talked about trying to find a flexible job where he can do that. (He LOVES kids!) But it would mean not pursuing jobs for which he worked so hard to get his MBA, so even I have mixed feelings about him doing that, even as I am incredibly grateful that he would consider it. I want him to be fulfilled in his work, just as he wants me to be, as well. I think it's going to be OK, though. We'll make things work, no matter what happens.Emiliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18186651382354924497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24415762.post-1149041570733567592006-05-30T21:12:00.000-05:002006-05-30T21:12:00.000-05:00You really captured what I've felt so many times. ...You really captured what I've felt so many times. For me, it isn't that I want Greg to do more of the work, it is that I want to feel like I'm better at doing it myself. I wonder if Beck would be better in daycare - I don't have any sort of experience with toddlers. I just hope that I can figure it out as we go. I love spending time with her, but some mornings I dread the day of non-stop baby time. That's one reason I got the part time job.<BR/><BR/>I hope your husband is smart enough not to treat you like a maid or a nanny. I hope he realizes that a day with a newborn might be more difficult than whatever he was doing. And that even if his job is more difficult, he never makes you feel like he is "done for the day" when he gets home. Dads can make all the difference. :)Monkeymamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06264960774394882763noreply@blogger.com