Wednesday, April 30, 2008

battle cries

Again, I surprise myself with what pops into my head while I lie upon the hard, cold radiation table for day two of treatment. In this case, it's the image of a great battle out of The Lord of the Rings or Braveheart. Warriors on horseback, gleaming swords, colorful banners swirl through my head as I think about those radiation beams attacking the enemy cancer cells. "Die, you motherf&%$ers!" I think, brandishing my imaginary sword. Yes, many of my good soldier cells will be lost for the cause. Civilian casualties are inevitable. My body will never be the same. But if it means eliminating the enemy and preserving the good of this humble nation that is my body, I am willing to accept it.

22 comments:

Rebecca Feyder said...

Great perspective.

Monkeymama said...

I was thinking about you while driving to music class today and the Braveheart "raise the sword and scream before charging" scene totally popped into my head! I was trying to decide if it would sound callous to say that although this treatment is hard on your body, it is you weapon.

Maybe you need blue face paint?

Jo on the go said...

Go, fight, win, radiation rays!

Blue face paint sounds like a fantastic idea. If you keep having this image, it wouldn't hurt to have Mel Gibson's skirt fly up a little bit...

A big squeeze from afar. Lizard and I will eat some pork barbecue for you this weekend in Memphis.

Madwoman of Preserve Path said...

I like the face paint idea. Maybe a helmet, too. You're a gladiator, girl!

Roxy said...

Kick Ass girl!!!!!

LutherLiz said...

I love it. They should blast the soundtracks into the radiation room for you!

I particularly like thinking of the cancer cells as evil ocres and the good cells as elves and hobbits and wizards and stuff.

Aunt Becky said...

That is a fantastic attitude!

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic way of visualizing cancer treatment! I don't believe I have ever heard it described like that before. Maybe you should write a book for cancer patients after you kick its butt.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic attitude! You go girl!!! Harry Potter comes to mind as well...

elizabeth in mississippi said...

I love the image of the colorful banners!

You are the leader of a warrior women!

Love you, mean it.
lizba

Anonymous said...

The Marseillese (sp?) a truly great battle song

Allons enfants de la Patrie, Le jour de gloire est arrivé !
Contre nous de la tyrannie,
L'étendard sanglant est levé. (bis)
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes Mugir ces féroces soldats ?
Ils viennent jusque dans nos bras Égorger nos fils, nos compagnes!
Aux armes, citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons!
Marchons, marchons!
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!
Aux armes, citoyens!
Formons nos bataillons!
Marchons, marchons!
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!

---Laura S. (courtesy Wikepedia)

Chris said...

I was talking to my mom about you tonight.
She has Lupus and when her lungs were very sick she said she used to envision she had Freddy Kruger's nails (I know, a little weird), and would take a deep breath and "scrape" her fingers across her chest and close her eyes and picture herself scraping out all the bad stuff. The she'd blow out all that "bad air".
You have the right idea with your awesome mental pictures.
Hang tough!
Chris

Anonymous said...

What a fabulous way of thinking!!

CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yo go girl.

Beth said...

That's right, you kick it in the butt!

Soupy said...

I truly believe in visualization - I swear it helped me get PG - and I know this will help kick that nasty ass Cancer out!
Hugs and loves!

Carrie said...

You amaze me every day. Your blog is one of the first I check every morning when I get to work, and you remain in my thoughts throughout the day (I often choke back tears as I read about everything you're going through. And although we've never met, I truly feel like I know you.) I admire your strength, your humor, and your willingness to share this time in your life with so many people. You're inspiring and you'll continue to be in my prayers.

mo*reezy said...

I LOVE it! And for some reason, those first guitar licks from "Eye of the Tiger" just popped into my head. I think that's what I'd have playing during treatment. Whatever works to sustain you emotionally and mentally while your body accepts this treatment is what you should do. And the image of a beautiful woman entering the radiation room with blue face paint just sounds awesome.

Piccinigirl said...

I think that is the PERFECT image to have as you lie on that table.
We are all behind you on horseback brandishing our our swords. You are not battling alone.

*the blue face paint is NOT a bad idea* ****HUG****

Anonymous said...

Emilie, I think it's just great that you're chronicling your experiences with cancer treatment. I wish I would have. I think you should blog your experiences, each day you have radiation.

- Susanne

matt said...

thinking of you and your family...

Anonymous said...

Keep right on imagining. I am with you girl.
And I loved that you wore green to radiation. Father Tony Kilroy was at our church Sunday and said that green was a healing color. But I love the neon image.
And the Emily Dickinson poem is my fav.
Pat Norby