It's so wierd. When I was engaged, I got really into wedding planning. I loved it. I obsessed about it. I visited reception sites with Steve, pondered invitation fonts, researched florists and listened to samples of wedding ceremony music. I joined the chat boards on TheKnot.com and got to know other brides-to-be, a few of whom are still good friends of mine today. Later, when Steve and I began our struggles with infertility, I joined another chat board and got to know other women who were trying to conceive (known in the online world as TTC). Their support and encouragement kept me afloat during some dark times. When I finally got pregnant, my focus shifted again. I got really interested in childbirth, read lots of books about it, and chatted with other women on the TTC board who had become pregnant. And then I became a mother, and I read even more books, joined classes and met yet another group of (mostly) women who have become friends through our weekly play group.
And now I have to start learning about sarcomas. I have to apply all my energy to a subject I never wanted to know anything about (well, who does?), a subject that frightens and depresses me. And yet, here I am, getting cozy with the new reality in my life. All week, I've been discovering new Web sites, getting tips from people who have been there or know people who have been there. Today, I even joined a sarcoma list serve. I can't help wondering if the next group of important people in my life will be those who are facing down the dragon together, with apparent humor, courage and spirit. I am amazed as I read about what people go through in fighting this fight, and I hope I can draw strength from them.