Tuesday, April 15, 2008

mom, blues, babysitters, boobies

My mom is here from Oregon for a week, and I couldn't be happier to have her here. Our house is clean and tidy, Daniel (who has warmed up to her much more quickly than he did in September) is getting some quality outdoor time, and I appreciate the company and extra pair of hands.

Speaking of hands, doesn't Daniel's look huge here?

I am thinking about hiring a nanny, babysitter or post-partum doula of some sort to help me out for a while when Mom leaves. Steve has a business trip in a few weeks, which makes me very nervous. But it's not just the trip; I'd just like some help in general. The first few days of him being back at work last week (before Mom arrived) were challenging, though not as tough as I anticipated in some ways. I didn't end the day shellshocked like I did with Daniel, maybe because I have a little experience with infants now, and maybe because Ben is an entirely different sort of baby. Daniel was constantly fussy and rarely slept. Ben sleeps a lot, and he seems less fussy when he's awake. Last night, he slept from 9:30 p.m. to 5:30 a.m., I kid you not. I woke up several times with leaky breasts wondering whether I should wake him. But the night before had been tougher; he was up every couple of hours, and I spent yesterday morning in a teary state of post-partum blues (or Monday blues), feeling like I couldn't cope with anything.

On the plus side, some women from a mom's group are bringing us meals twice a week, and that's been wonderful. And Daniel is so sweet with his brother. He likes to put his head down on Ben's chest and lean in for "hugs." And he's getting better at being gentle around his face. He likes to watch me feed him, too — and he's taken a newfound interest in my breasts (which he knows only as "boobies" — thanks, Steve!). Last night, he saw me in the tub, and he leaned over, put his mouth very close to one of them, and pretended to "drink some milk." When he was done, he smacked his lips and said, "Aaah!"

At any rate, some days are better than others, and they'd all be better if I could walk freely without my cane. As it is, this hip stuff feels like a big, cruel joke. Here it is springtime, and I'm not pregnant anymore — my body should be my own. I should be taking the boys on long walks in the stroller, cavorting in the park in the sunshine! But walking long distances is super-painful, and I can't carry anything (or anyone) heavy, which means I feel sequestered indoors most of the time. Where's the empowerment superhero when I need her?! I have got to find some things I can do in spite of this. Here's one: I can put Ben in a sling and take Daniel out in the yard. We've made that expedition once. It went OK, except when Daniel refused to come back inside and I tried to lift him, and I triggered a raw nerve or something that is part of this hip issue and almost dropped him. Maybe we'll try it again next week.

Which is why I'd like to have some part-time help, like I said above — and if any of you know of someone who might do a good job, or if you have ideas for finding a babysitter that don't involve Craig's List, please let me know!


Anonymous said...

Mom !!!

Wow! I pulled up the blog just to check it one last time before going to the end-of-tax-season party, and there's Mom! With two adorable little boys!

Em, I'm sorry your hip is still giving you trouble.Mom !!!

Wow! I pulled up the blog just to check it one last time before going to the end-of-tax-season party, and there's Mom! With two adorable little boys!

Em, I'm sorry your hip is still giving you trouble. When are you supposed to get it checked out (you may have said in an earlier post). It almost sounds like a combination of surgery and pregnancy caused you to lean on it wrong or something, resulting in damage that may take a bit longer to heal than expected - but these things do eventually ease off.

- Susanne

liz said...

Apparently I was quite fascinated when my mother was breastfeeding Eric and demanded to try some, too. Family legend has it that I was revolted by the taste and spat it everywhere (I was 2). :)

I would think your church might be a nice source of baby-sitting leads? Or perhaps a nice Family Studies major at St. Kate's or something?

I'm so sorry about your hip - I am thinking nice healing thoughts for you!

Kristie said...


I can't help out during the day but I would be happy to help you out in the late afternoon a few days a week. My 12 year old niece is living with us until the end of the school year and we could certainly come by and spend some time on Mondays, Tuesdays or Thursdays. I'm sure she would love to play with the boys and I could help you get dinner ready.

I know that doesn't solve your problem for day time but think about it and let me know.

Anonymous said...

I read your column in the Catholic Spirit and my sister is looking for part time babysitting work this summer before she enters a religious order. She is a recent St. Thomas Catholic Studies grad and is AWESOME with my two girls- ages 2 and 1. She is a natural with kids and babies. My email is BMF0217@HOTMAIL.COM if you want more info.
Congrats on the new baby!

Ahuva Batya said...

I'm LMAO at the "boobies" word that Steve has introduced. I'm so sorry about your hip still, I can only imagine how frustrating that is. Your mom is so cute!

Jo on the go said...

Oh, Em, I am so sorry your hip is still a mess.

What about cycling? I don't suppose you have a super-sweet double bike trailer and perfect-fitting bicycle lying around... The first thing they wanted me to do 10 years ago after my knee surgery was get back on a stationary bike because the movement was good for the joint and helped it remember what it was supposed to do and (after the initial pain and stiffness) loosen back up and get stronger.

Of course, I think bikes are the answer for everything! Hugs...

LutherLiz said...

Hey Emilie, I'm glad the boys are doing well and it sounds like your Mom was a great help! I hope the hip issues go away soon and that everything goes well with your scans this week (do I have that right or is it May?). I am always free on Friday's if you want a little help. I'm not opposed to playgrounds, laundry, dishes or simple baby holdin'. Let me know.

P.S. Ben and Daniel are adorable together. And they are definately brothers. So cute!

Madwoman of Preserve Path said...

Hey, if you're not scared off by a Madwoman, I'd be happy to come play with the babes once in awhile. I have lots of experience. Our twin grandsons (and their parents) lived with us for nearly a year, and I was one of their constant companions the first month of their life. You could be my little service project. I can't think of anything nicer. I could be the weird ol' unrelated "auntie." I had one, and I've never forgotten her. She taught me how to drink tea from a teacup and let me stay up past my bedtime (probably all of 10 minutes, but it felt extravagant to a 4-year-old). You know where to find me if you ever need ...

Coach Megan Thomas said...


Ben has changed so much in such a short time! They both are adorable - how nice to have your Mom visit, too.

Take care of yourself and I hope that your hip starts to improve.



kristine said...

very cute! i am glad you are doing well - well, minus the hip.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Emilie,

It was fun to meet your mother yesterday at the picnic and lay eyes on Big Brother Daniel. The new nanny down the street said she knew folks who might be looking for work, so let me know if none of these wonderful leads work for you.

Also, the next time I see you remind me to tell you about my anti-pain medication theory and how the docs used to yell at me about not taking them. And they were right.

-Laura S.