Saturday, May 24, 2008

chemo isn't very fun

There's nothing fabulous about it. Except maybe that I have a husband who's encouraging me to stay in bed all day and watch movies while he takes care of the boys. That's a fabulous husband.

Day 3. Or is it 4? My mind is completely spacey and I'm tired a lot. I have itchy rashes here and there on parts of my skin. I haven't had much nausea so far, but I've totally lost my appetite. Forget any special diet right now. I'll just eat what I can bear to eat, which today has been a pear, a bite of cheese, a few spoonfuls of applesauce and a little bit of leftover mac and cheese.

I have to carry the chemo drugs around with me, attached to pumps, in a black backpack. The cords sticking out of it are hooked up to the PICC line in my arm. One or the other of the pumps makes a sound every minute or so. Needless to say, what with the whole set-up, it's hard to forget that I'm on chemo. Changing my shirt involves stringing each bag and pump through the armhole separately. It took me 20 minutes to do it yesterday morning, and I probably won't do it today. I am wearing Steve's old T-shirts because the arms are large enough to fit the pump through. Now I need to go figure out how to change the batteries in the pumps because I have to do that every three days.

I like to come out of my room every so often and interact with the family. Ben was smiling at me a lot earlier, and Daniel is just a funny boy. Steve is getting pretty worn out caring for them, though. I wish I could do more to help, but he insists he's got it under control.

13 comments:

Coach Megan Thomas said...

Emilie -

Glad that you are able to rest this weekend and that you are not feeling nauseous. Looking forward to giving you a helping hand later this week!

Love,

Megan

Aunt Becky said...

I'm sorry, Em. I can only imagine.

Hope that the rest of the weekend is more tolerable.

Anonymous said...

Please let Steve do this for you without feeling guilty.

I'm sure that you would do as much for him if the situation were (was? ok... correct the grammar for me)reversed.

LYMI
Lizba

kristine said...

You sure do have a wonderful husband by your side. Let him do all that he can for you - I know you feel bad for leting him but I am sure it makes him feel really good to know he can care for you (and the children - he gets to be a dad and husband!)

mo*reezy said...

Like these other fine people have already pointed out, I'm sure Steve feels utterly helpless when it comes to making you better - and this is his way to work through that. In sickness and in health, remember? What a fine man for remembering his promises to you (whether you had those words in your vows or not) and to God.

I'm hoping that today and for the rest of this chemo stint that you feel okay, and not run over by a semi full of elephants.

Queenie. . . said...

It sounds like it's going as well as could be expected, and I'm glad to hear that. I hope you continue to be without nausea, and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. You have an amazing husband. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Hello! I'm glad to know that you're not feeling nauseous - hopefully, in time your appetite will return. Meanwhile, just get lots of rest so your body can fight the disease!
You're in my prayers!
Kristin

Jo on the go said...

Can you get anyone to bring over a milk shake, muffin, restaurant appetizer, anything that sounds appealing? I feel like you really need to keep your strength up right now. I go so stir crazy sitting around the house. Maybe at least sitting outside in a chair and soaking up some rays would help. A bubble bath? Have you ever knitted? Sometimes keeping my hands busy makes me feel better, somehow at least productive. If someone could teach you, I could mail fun yarn and needles for a scarf or hat.
Big hugs,
Jo

Ahuva Batya said...

I'm thinking of you, Em, and sending you strength.

Anonymous said...

Oh Emilie, that's great that Steve is being so supportive. Thank you for keeping us posted on how chemo is going. It probably takes a lot of energy on your part to even get to the computer to give us this post. So thank you.

I'm so glad you haven't experienced much nausia, even though the appetite is down. Just enjoy those movies!

Anonymous said...

Emilie, Steve, Daniel and Benjamin,
A friend of mine found your blog. My husband, Josh, had been battling an epitheliod sarcoma for ten years. We have three kids - Jacob 7, Sam 4, and Sophie who is one. I have read your blog and can relate to every aspect of this fight. Josh's blog:
http://yoshinawa.spaces.live.com


You are in my thoughts and prayers. He also did a documentary of his experience with recurrence number 2. www.mylefthand-themovie.com

Be well

LutherLiz said...

Praying for strength for you and Steve. I"m so glad that Steve is able to care for the boys and give you the time you need to rest. I hope that the week is over soon and you don't feel any worse!

Piccinigirl said...

what a fantastic husband you have there. A "keeper" for sure.

take care of yourself and know I'm thinking of you.