Wednesday, June 4, 2008

should carrie have married big?

**Spoiler alert**

I must be a big softie. That, or I don't feel comfortable in the black-and-white world of final answers. I like the mushy grey areas, where a woman can fathom the possibility of second chances at love. I thought, for example, that Miranda was pretty harsh to leave Steve with no discussion of his one-time infidelity, no attempt to figure out what went wrong (which was obvious) or to reconcile. But this post isn't about Miranda and Steve. It's about Carrie and Big. And I, for one, was happy with how things turned out between the two of them at the end of Sex and the City.

One of my friends said she thought Carrie's decision to marry Big at the end was a Big Mistake. "He'll hurt her again," she said. Yes, Big's momentary lapse of courage was painful to watch and even more painful for Carrie to absorb. (What a wrenching, tragic scene, when Carrie ran toward him on street, as wild as the blue bird attached to the side of her head, and began hitting him with her bouquet, over and over.) And yes, he's hurt her before with those commitment-phobic, cold feet. But in the end, I think she knew Big was only human, and she understood that Miranda's comment to him ("You're crazy to get married") freaked him out. And I think she knew Big was uncomfortable with the big "circus" wedding more than he was with committing to Carrie. He was committed to Carrie. I don't think that was ever in question.

In the end, Carrie followed her heart. Maybe she will be hurt again. Maybe the life they have won't be perfect. But it's the life she chose, and I think that's OK. Maybe she felt being with Big would ultimately fulfill her in a way being without him would not. Big was always the one for her, and I think she decided to let her heart make the decision, even if her head was refusing to read his e-mails or call him. That was the same advice she gave Miranda when Miranda was trying to decide whether to go back to Steve: This a decision you have to make with your heart, not your pro-con lists.

Thoughts on this or the rest of the movie?

12 comments:

Heidi said...

I thought the scene with Carrie hitting him with the flowers was made so much more intense with Charlotte screaming NO!! Massive amounts of tears flowed from my eyes.

Maria said...

I am glad she married Big. Sure he'll hurt her again, but every marriage has struggles-- some big, some small. That they can get past that and still be together is what works for them. Anyway, I laughed, cried, and almost peed my pants (but not poop... that's important) during the movie, and I would see it again!

liz said...

I’m still trying to put my finger on it, but the movie didn’t sit altogether right with me. I’m not sure why. The fashion was fabulous (oh, the Vogue shoot!), and the friends-hanging-out scenes were perfection. I think it has something to do with everyone growing up and finding happily-ever-after. Sure, there was plenty of angst in the movie, but… I don’t know. I think that when Carrie redecorated her apartment – or, rather, paid other people to decide what her style should be – I was kind of thrown.

The scene in the street where Carrie hit Big with her bouquet, though, was amazing. So intense and real. In the end, I loved the way they got married. It was so them. I really felt for Big – the circus wedding was just not them at all, and I could see Carrie losing sight of what was real. They could have worked it out, I think, were it not for the tragic miscommunication of Romeo and Juliet proportions when Lily answered the cell phone and put it away...

I was really annoyed with Miranda, too. I so loved every little bit of Miranda’s story in the series finale, and I felt like her character had re-hardened quite a bit. I’m sure that domestic bliss in Brooklyn was so different from her previous life that it took a lot of getting used to, so it maybe wasn’t realistic to think that she was completely settled by the end of the series, but I still felt like Movie Miranda had lost sight of a lot of the things that TV Miranda had already learned. Does that make sense?

So glad you got to see it – wish I could have seen it with you!!

Piccinigirl said...

I thought her marrying him, the way they finally did was the way it was always suppossed to be.
Honestly, I thought that the scene where she was hitting him was unreal, and I say that without malice. I think that I would have been a puddle of tears, not angry. Asking "Why? Why are you not ready yet...because after 10 years I know you love me and I love you. What happened last night to change your mind?"
I would have gotten to the bottom of it and maybe gotten married by a JP the next day. Yet I am aware that Hollywood makes it a little hard to have a 1/2 hr movie. HA.

I truly loved the whole movie. I loved every second. I can't wait for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it as much as I want, (Pretty much the way I am with the series)

Ellen said...

I think Miranda did what any woman would do (at least what I would do) if her husband cheated on her, which is separate for awhile until you're both in a more rational place, and, more importantly, until your heart is in the right place, to address the issues. I don't think she was opposed to eventually reuniting with Steve, but she would not have been able to completely leave the past behind and forgive him they way she did if she would have just kept on going. Cheating is the worst thing I think that can happen in a marriage, and the fact that Miranda was open to forgiveness was a far cry from the more disposable, TV-Miranda. She has always been extremely guarded anyway.
I am disappointed that Samantha left Smith. True, she was being honest and real with herself, and I hope I look like her when I'm 50, but it didn't sit well with me that a woman that age would be so selfish.
And Carrie...I think she overreacted in the bouquet scene. He told her he freaked out for a minute and that he was better, but then again, I realize she was probably not in a place where she was able to listen to him. Big could have said more than 'I'm sorry.' He could have been more assertive and said something like, 'I'm fine, let's go in,' or 'I'll see you in there,' or 'Carrie, it's okay, let's do this."
Also, I don't think Miranda did anything wrong when she told Big they were crazy to get married. It was tacky, yes. But I saw that more as Miranda just drunkenly talking off the top of her head out of anger and I think it was dumb of Big to take it to heart and react the way he did.
I loved Carrie's remodeled apartment! Didn't think the flat screen was her, and I thought I wouldn't like the assistant, but she turned out to be what Carrie needed because I think she was too depressed to handle the unpacking and her job and crazy social life on her own. But I loved that we got to see Carrie as single woman one more time! Even though she was in her 40s, she was ready to make it on her own, and I wish that would have been developed more.
It was a good movie. I was disappointed to see that the girls seemed more materialistic, especially Samantha, but it was neat to see how they had gone from girls to women and how they are now watching another generation of themselves enter the city and find love as they once did.

Christina said...

I agree w/Ellen: Samantha's outcome disappointed me. Choosing to love herself more than Smith didn't feel like an empowered decision, but rather, like a failure to learn beautiful lessons about love and partnership.

I really enjoyed Jennifer Hudson's character. A super-likable addition!

I was humored by the way Carrie and Big placed such emotional hope in the physical beauty of their new apartment. I was chuckling (and relating) when Carrie said the right desk would inspire genius writing. Haven't we all done that with some physical object?

Anonymous said...

I love everything about the movie except the last 20 minutes. I so hoped that Carrie, in the closet with Big, as he proposed, would say "No, I'm finally over you" but NOPE, she's 40 and apparently 40 and single = desperate. I couldn't believe she said yes after the public humiliation. To say that Big got "cold feet" and the wedding overcame what "they" were is ridiculous. COME ON! He's a millionaire corporate guy and he gets scared and swayed by Miranda?? He can't get outta the car?? Are you kidding me? SHEESH, how did he make his millions?? Being a pansy? What first wedding for a gal doesn't get a bit outta control?? HELLO! It would have been great for her to say "I'm over you" and move on looking for love in NYC....but once again we have to show that a woman is not complete unless she's gotta man and is married....bummer message.

Anonymous said...

I was never a big SATC fan since I couldn't stand SJP or her alter ego Carrie, but I went to the movie with my boyfriend on opening night (he's a closet fan), and I loved it! I just love the idea of a group of women being so supportive of each other over so many years. All my close girlfriends are scattered to the four winds and it makes me sad.

Leigh

Jo on the go said...

Leigh, if I had as much money as Samantha (and apparently, a loose work schedule), I'd fly out to NC and to Minneapolis and Memphis every month or so to see my girls! ((** Qualification: This is first-class flying, right, with a separate easy chair seat, sushi, champagne?!? I'm not sure about economy, squished in between "the unwashed masses." Which is where I always fly because I can't afford first class. And I always get sick after because I've been exposed to some germs.))

I did love the movie, I did cry. I forgot to include some Kleenex in my fake-Gucchi orange pleather bag.

I, too, thought the bouquet bashing scene rang a little false, but Charlotte was really real: "NO!" I saw it with a group of 11 ex-city-girl friends and acquaintances. I was the "countriest" one for cocktails (mocktail for me), dinner and the movie. One lady in the group sent someone to buy tickets for us, then treated us to the ticket. A lovely $8 surprise.

Anonymous said...

I just can't seem to get over Carrie and Big. I can't believe she forgave him after he sheepishly abandoned her at the alter. I have always idolized Carrie for her strength. But who is Carrie now, and who am I to judge her for being vulnerable and forgiving?

The whole theme of the movie, as I interpreted it, was discovering the true definition of LOVE. And coming up with that definition, completely on YOUR OWN. This LOVE theme was carefully woven through out the whole film. Just how much will one take from their partner in the name of LOVE, and further, what are the boundaries of LOVE in our relationships. All the girls,(with the exception of Charlotte) were faced with some type of tragedy in their LOVE relationships that forced them to search from within, to discover their own understanding and definition of LOVE. Clearly, Samantha's unfolded as ultimately more of a self-centered one, while Miranda and Carrie discovered less of a self love, and more of a love for those 'outside' of them. And this type of LOVE led them into forgiving some rather nasty behavior from their partners!

Still, while I loved seeing the fabulous 4 back in action, I too was left unsatisfied. Some parts of the move were rather shallow, and for the most part it did not have the natural wit or depth of the TV series.

I am still left wondering if Carrie made the right decision. After all that time together, you'd hope BIG would have grown up. Doesn't appear that he did, and chances are, he never will. Seems a shame for a gal as cool as Carrie, to gamble away her heart like that!

Thank god it's just a movie!

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