I am getting ready to get my stuff together so I can finally move out of this room. I'm not going home yet, though. I'm moving to the oncology floor from the lung and cardiac floor, where I've been all week. As soon as I'm settled in, they're going to start a round of chemo.
Steve came over this morning, and we met with the doctors, and yes, I have more tumors. In my lungs and outside on the chest wall where the fluid was. One of them is bumping against the cavity that holds my liver. Ugh, ugh, ugh. This chemo is a new combination of drugs. I don't know how it will be compared to past ones, but I think I can say goodbye to my newly grown hair.
I cried. It's been an emotional morning. I don't know how to cope, so I either try not to think too hard about it, or I cry. I cried when I got into the shower to shave my legs for the first time this week and sprayed water all over myself. (Plus, it's just humiliating to sit in a shower all naked and stinky and have someone help you bathe.) I don't think the aide helping me understood. "It's OK ... we'll get you all wiped off." I finally blurted out the stuff about the cancer, and then she backed off, and I thought she was going to cry, too. And we got my legs shaved.
On the plus side, I got the chest tube out, which makes me feel 80 percent back to normal as far as breathing goes. I still cough a little and have some sore spots in my back, but I can get in and out of bed easily.
And Kiersten, our summer nanny who is now in medical school here at the University of Minnesota popped over after her class with cookies. We chatted for a while, and that felt nice.
I finished Twilight and have started the second book in the series, New Moon. Quick reading and fun for a long hospital stay!