Wednesday, November 19, 2008

still in the hospital

So the good news is that they drained about a liter of fluid from my lung last night, and it didn't really hurt, though the pressure was a little uncomfortable at times, and I was back in my room in time to meet room service delivering my dinner of cheese tortellini, chef salad and chocolate pudding.

It does take some of the pressure off, and my breathing is easier, and the pain is less. But there's more fluid in there still - maybe close to another liter. The interventional radiology people (a.k.a. lung drainers) said it's dangerous to drain more than one liter at a time, that it can actually kill a person on the spot.

So where does that leave me? One problem is that the fluid obscures the view of the part of the lung it covers, so it's been impossible to see the big tumor that we've been talking about for radiation. I saw Dr. S. (my regular oncologist) this morning, and he said they'd like to try to drain the rest of the fluid out of me slowly so they can get a clear look. This might involve getting a tube inserted that hangs out of me and lets the fluid drain out slowly, over the course of days. And for the longer-term, we may put radiation on hold; depending on whether the fluid tests malignant (which I suspect it will), Dr. S. thinks it might be a good idea to do some more chemo instead of radiation at this point. Sigh.

I feel overwhelmed this morning, and homesick. I'm getting an inkling that this might be more complicated than I'd originally thought when they checked me in Monday night. At that point, I figured this would be in and out - take care of the blood clot and the fluid and let me go home. Now who knows how many days I'll be here?

I miss my boys so much that the sounds of their voices over the phone brought tears to my eyes this morning. (Steve brought Daniel over yesterday, and it went fine until he got bored and decided to show us all the ways my room is not childproofed!) People are calling Steve and offering to help in whatever ways they can - meals, time with the kids - and I really appreciate that. Thank you, everyone. I feel as if I'm in a little parallel universe over here while my real life is continuing at home. Of course this is my real life, here, in the hands of doctors and nurses and aides and people who wake me up at all hours of the night. But on the plus side, I have time to read (I've started Twilight, the first book of the vampire series) and watch TV and occasionally get online here, so I probably should appreciate that.

Breakfast just arrived, so I'd better go eat it before the coffee gets cold. Thanks, everyone, for all your support.

39 comments:

Laura said...

Thanks for the update, sweetie. I'll continue to keep you in my prayers during this difficult time.

Roxy said...

thanks for updating - we have been praying hard for you. Read, watch tv, take care of yourself. Think of it as a spa in a really ugly room.

Sue said...

Being stuck in the hospital and away from your family is torture. I hope you are able to rejoin them soon.

Jen J said...

Thanks for the update! I continue to hold you in prayer and ask God to heal you.

Enjoy your time to read and try not to think about what your boys are doing - they are in good hands.

God Bless!

kristine said...

I agree - thanks for the update. I hope you get to go home soon!

Jessica Griffith said...

I hope you are able to go home soon. Do you want visitors in the hospital? Do you need books? I have stacks of books here and would be happy to loan you anything you like.

Meanwhile, I admire your ability to stay trendy (Twilight) even while coping with illness and homesickness.

otrey3 said...

Goodness. The bump seems to be more like a little construction zone instead. That's okay- they end, too. They'll take good care of you, Emilie.

If my sniffles clear up I'll come visit. This cold and your weakened lungs are not a good match. I hope you enjoy the reading and TV.

By the way, you can tell the nurses to quit waking you up and modify the nightly schedule so people come in your room at the same time rather than individually. They'll complain and tell you it's too hard to coordinate, but they can do it and will do it if you push for it.

--Laura S.

Monkeymama said...

Thanks for the update. What a scary situation to be in. It must be very difficult to be away from your family.

Could you do a web cam conference between your laptop and home? It might be nice to be able to watch the boys in their natural habitat for a bit without the stress of a visit.

Madwoman of Preserve Path said...

Oooh! The web cam thing sounds like a fabulous idea! But I like Roxy's idea best: "Think of it as a spa in a really ugly room." Pretty danged funny. Seriously, get some rest and don't worry too much, except when you get sick of hospital food. Then call us for chocolate.

mnrn said...

You are a remarkable woman who continues to be in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes.

Journeywoman said...

Thanks for updating. I'm still praying for you.

Amy M said...

Emilie - It was so good to see today's posting. I have been praying so hard for you. Hang in there - so many people care deeply for you and your family. That's a real blessing.

Rest up so you have energy for the pipsqueaks because I'm sure they'll want to make up for lost time with their beloved Mommy.

Susanne said...

Em, this is all so familiar.

I, too, had a yummy dinner waiting for me one time, after one of my lung drainings.

And I've also had the draining tube that you leave in. It doesn't hurt, except when they take it out, but it's only a few seconds.

Enjoy your coffee!

Pat Norby said...

I am praying for you Emilie. Thank you for keeping your blog updated, so we can stay informed.

LutherLiz said...

Thank you for the update. We've been praying for you and the family over here. It does sound like it will be more complicated than originally thought but at least the doctors are on it and they can take this new info into account. Which doesn't make it any easier I know.

Take care! *Hugs*

liz said...

Oh my goodness. I am behind. I'm so sorry to hear about this, Emilie... how very scary and not at all what you needed. We are keeping you very close in our hearts & prayers.

Alex said...

Take care. Knowing you have such wonderful friends and an amazing husband makes it easier I'm sure...but missing your kids, thats one thing all the best support in the world can't stop. I hope you're out of there sooner than you think and they're back in your arms.

crazyrobot said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I know when I was sick, all I wanted was Udon noodles and soup. Sometimes a meal from outside the hospital (though chocolate pudding does sound good) can really lift a mood. Skype set-up is pretty easy. Mu husband just did it, if you need help, please let me know.

Barbara said...

Oh Emilie, this totally, TOTALLY sucks! I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I'd like to come a visit you but catching my cold is probably the last thing you need right now. I'll give you a ring tomorrow if I get my voice back by then. I assume you're at the U?

I really appreciate your updates here on your blog;It's so hard to sit and wonder what's happening. I wish there was something I could do, but your in my prayers!!

I like Roxy's suggestion about thinking of the hospital as a "really ugly spa" but I would add "with icky food" if it's anything like the hospital meals I've had, :(

Tracy said...

Praying for you and your family:)

surly said...

Oh my gosh. I haven't been able to get online much in the past few days -- I'm so sorry to hear about the latest developments. You and your family are in my thoughts. I hope you're able to get home to all three of your boys very soon!

Ahuva Batya said...

Em, I'm praying for you always. I can't believe yet another bump has shown up, and I can only imagine how much you miss your family. Thinking of you always.

battynurse said...

I hope your hospital stay doesn't end up being too long. Sending many many good healing thoughts your way that this is just a minor bump in the road and you'll soon be home and feeling much better.

Waiting Amy said...

Oh Emilie, I'm wishing you all the best, peace and rest. I've checked on your story here and there over time (from stirrup queens connections), and I'm always so touched by your grace and dignity. You are in my thoughts.

Kerry said...

love and prayers Emilie

Heidi said...

Wow, I've been offline for about a week and I've missed so much. Glad to hear your hip is better, but this lung fluid is scary. Good thing you went to the hospital when you did. Lots of prayers from Chicago...

SeaStar said...

Peace to you Emilie and thanks for the update - hard day for you. I started Twilight today too.

Skerry said...

I've been waiting for you to post an update. It makes me sad to think of you stuck in the hospital and missing your boys. I will keep praying for your healing for now and for always.

Betty M said...

sorry that you are still in the hospital away from your boys. Hoping they will let you home soon

Michele (Moosh) said...

God Emilie.
Hugs.
You don't deserve this crap.
Hugs again.




Did I mention HUGS????

Queenie. . . said...

One of my friends keeps trying to force me to read Twilight--she's totally in love with the series. I hope it takes your mind off things, if only for a little bit.

Hopefully, they'll get you sorted out and back home in no time.

Kristie said...

Take care Emilie. I'm praying for you.

darcie said...

Enjoy the quiet - you'll be home soon!!
Hope you are feeling ok today Emilie - xoxo - darcie

sharon said...

Continued healing prayers to you.

Piccinigirl said...

OH Em, I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and praying harder than I have ever in my life. Take good care of yourself and know that My thoughts and prayers are coming constantly.

Andrea said...

We are sending lots of warm and healing thoughts your way and hoping you are back home with your boys soon.

Fiddle1 said...

Came over from L&F and am letting you know that I'm praying for you as well.

Shannon said...

Emilie,

Sean and I are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Your outlook and strength never cease to amaze me.

Cate said...

Emilie, I want you to get better! Please continue to heal and feel better and get back to those precious boys.

Catherine