the circ wars

We're in the middle of an ongoing conversation about whether to have our son circumcised. It's a tough one. We didn't know how controversial an issue this is until it came up in our childbirth class last week. Now we've been going back and forth about it. I've been looking at Web sites (some of which are VERY biased) and blog discussions, such as this one, this one and this one; and we've been talking about what either decision could mean for our son, his well-being, his locker room reputation and his future sex life. Not something I imagined we'd be talking about two months before he was born.

On one hand, we have learned:

The United States is the only country in the world that routinely circumcises baby boys for non-religious reasons. And rates are going down, although they're highest in the Midwest. Statistics I've read are along these lines: Nationally, about 56 percent of newborn males were circumcised in 2003, down about 7 percent from 2001 and even more from previous decades, according to the National Hospital Discharge Survey. The Midwest led the country with about 78 percent, followed by the Northeast with 65 percent and the South with 58 percent. The West trailed with 31 percent. (In Great Britain, in comparison, it's more like 10 percent.)

There is no medical reason that a baby needs to be circumcised, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, which does not find enough benefits to recommend it as a routine procedure except for religious reasons.

There can be complications as a result of the procedure — bleeding, infection, damage to the penis.

The foreskin contains some of the most sensitive nerve endings in the body and provides a lot of sexual pleasure. Why cut it off arbitrarily? We don't cut off any other part of the body that way.

It's an incredibly painful experience, and unlike adults, babies don't know that the pain won't last forever, so it could be very traumatic for them. Even when the penis is numbed, it doesn't remove all the pain, and the residual effects can last for days, if not weeks. Some opponents of circumcision say this can interfere with bonding with a new baby and getting him to breastfeed.

On the other hand:

What if he gets teased in the locker room for being "different"? Let's face it — our son is probably going to be a little on the geeky side. Why give him another source of ammunition for the bullies? Especially when it involves the very definition of his manhood? (Maybe that won't even be an issue, though. Maybe he'll even develop a sense of confidence about it: MY parents didn't cut off part of my body. Why did yours?)

Circumcised penises are cleaner, less prone to infections and easier to care for. (Teaching good hygiene virtually eliminates that problem, though.)

Some studies point to a (miniscule) decrease in urinary tract infections, penile cancer and sexually transmitted diseases in males who are circumcised.

Circumcisions are a lot more complicated and painful later in life, and sometimes (thought not often) they are necessary. Wouldn't it be better to get it done when he's a baby?

Will being uncircumcised interfere with his sex life? Will he be rejected or ridiculed by women who prefer their men "cut," or will the right woman love him for who he is? (As his parents, we don't want him sleeping around anyway!!)

Circumcised men supposedly "last" longer in bed because they don't have all that extra sensitivity in the foreskin.

Some uncircumcised men say it's harder to keep a condom on. Does that interfere with safe sex?

Ugh. What to do? Should I leave the decision up to Steve and let go of it? As the Lemmondrop's mother, I don't want him to go through such pain. And I don't want a part of his body cut off for no reason, either. And it's becoming more common to leave babies uncircumcized. ... But not so much in the Midwest. And I don't want to set him up for possible emotional pain, teasing or sexual rejection later in life on account of not being like everyone else.

Whatever we decide, I have a feeling this is just the first of many tough decisions that will inspire our urge to protect him and keep him from harm ... just a glimpse of what motherhood will be like.