waiting with a stomach full of dye

So the imaging center that's doing my CT scan today called yesterday to "remind" me that because I'll be having a contrast dye injected intravenously, I need to remember not to breastfeed for 24 hours afterward. Only this was the first I'd heard I was having an IV dye. (And I hate IVs.) I already had an oral dye solution in the refrigerator, which was going to keep me from nursing for about six hours today, along with a stock of pumped breastmilk that I figured would get Ben through the day. I had not, however, pumped enough for 24 hours or more. This news, along with the whole idea of having my entire internal frame lit up with various dyes, did me in emotionally, so I broke down yet again yesterday afternoon. Maybe it's best that I had my big cry then, rather than, say, now, as I sit here waiting, feeling my stomach churn with nervousness and/or with the half-bottle of the berry-flavored oral dye solution that I just drank. (I'll drink the other half at 10:30.) Everyone around me is being so positive — Steve, my mom, friends — telling me they have a good feeling about the outcome of today's appointment. I am letting them do the positive thinking for me because I myself am just plain nerved out about it.

So I pumped two more times yesterday and this morning and managed to eke out another six ounces or so of milk, and I hope all this will tide Ben over until I can nurse him again. Dr. Sears says babies this age should get about two ounces for each pound they weigh, which means Ben will need roughly 16 ounces of milk. (That's the formula for formula feeding, though. I don't know if the same amounts apply to breastmilk.) I hope Ben will take to a bottle. And I hope the old Medela bottles will work OK for him because that's all we have right now. Long story, which I won't go into here.

I went to the physical therapist again yesterday, and (in short) she said my hip is a lot worse than last time she saw me in February, and it's high time I get some tests done so we can see what's going on. My chiropractor has already faxed an add-on order to my CT scan to have them look at my lower back while they're at it to see if there's any disc herniation going on. So I hope we get some answers about that, too.

Thanks for all your good wishes, thoughts, vibes and prayers.