Thursday, May 29, 2008

magnificent

I went to acupunture this morning. I was in good spirits because my chemo session is finished, and I'm feeling OK, and — best of all — I'm completely unattached to any tubes and catheters. I'd been to acupunture before, when Steve and I were trying to have a baby; but that time, I went to a different practitioner across the street. The session was a gift from a friend, who sees the same acupunturist. I really liked this woman. We talked for a while about my cancer and how I'm doing, and then she told me where she thought she should put the needles this time — mostly in my arms, hands and shoulder.

So I lay down on the table, and she put the needles in — little yows and yips as they tweaked my chi but nothing more — and she told me to relax and breathe in the spring energy and fill my lungs with white light and breathe out all the grey yucky stuff. I tried to focus on that meditative breathing, although I allowed all manner of colors to fill the white — sherbet colors, greens and yellows mostly, swirling around inside the body of my imagination. I thought about my tumors and told one of them (the one near my spine that I can feel) that I wished it would just go away. It wasn't a hateful command, and I couldn't bring myself to curse it or feel anger at its evil. I just spoke to it as part of my body that's getting out of control, like a frustrated parent.

Then, out of nowhere, a voice in my head said, "Something magnificent is going to happen." And I was overwhelmed with emotion, and tears formed in my eyes.

That's all I can say. I left feeling good and positive, like someone reaching for the stars.

17 comments:

Rebecca said...

Yay!

Amy said...

What a great story to end my day with - it's 10:30pm in France.

I'm so happy that you had this experience and a relaxing session.

Prayers continue for your healing.

Amy

P.S. Did I use the right punctuation? : )

LutherLiz said...

That is beautiful and I very excited to see what the magnificent is going to be!

Aunt Becky said...

That's a wonderful thought. I occasionally get those little thoughts and you know what? They're always right.

Anonymous said...

Oh Em, when you tell stories like this, it makes me think maybe God does, indeed, exist. Who else could have said such a wonderful thing? Thanks for sharing your experience - one needs to hear stuff like that.

Have you thought about going to a massage once a week? Maybe even insurance would pay. Are there Doshas in ST Paul (probably - didn't Aveda originate there?)

- Susanne

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're feeling well, Emilie, and that you had such a great experience with acupuncture. It sounds like that voice in your head is a good one to listen to. Perhaps frequent acupuncture sessions are in order!

I hope you have a fun and relaxing visit with your friends this weekend.

Shannon

Christina said...

So happy to hear that! I agree with your aunt Becky; those voices are always right! YAY!

Cibele said...

Amen!

mo*reezy said...

that is awesome. I'm so glad you had and listened to that experience.

Carey said...

Im so glad to hear you had a great experience. We need more positive things in our life to get us through the rough times. Praying for more good thoughts.

liz said...

What a fabulous post. I have tears in my eyes, too!

Alex & Jill said...

I got chills reading this!

kristine said...

I got the tears too. I think that was definitely a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Chickpea said...

Wishing magnificent things for you ...

SmallTownMommy said...

I am so glad you were able to embrace that experience and gain such positive energy from it.
Kathy

Mary said...

Wow, I felt that with you!

Elena said...

That's so beautiful. I like to think something was healed inside you at that moment.