Thursday, September 4, 2008

good days

It's been one of those good weeks, the kind where I feel almost like I'm back to the kind of mother I was before I needed a cane to walk, before I needed a nanny to help me chase Daniel, before chemo made me tired. The kind where I have the energy to pack up the car and bring the kids to storytime at the Red Balloon (where Daniel freaked out because he didn't like the loudness of the singing and applause), or to play and pick out books at the library (where we got two of the Madeline books and a really cool one about trains). The Republican National Convention is in town, and the buzz in the air is palpable! OK, just kidding about that — I barely notice a difference over here in my little pocket of St. Paul, just five miles away from the action. But the air is chilly and fallish, and it's the kind of week where the fears of cancer are way in the back of my mind, and I actually dare to think, maybe it's all going to turn out OK.

Tomorrow is my second-opinion appointment at the Mayo Clinic. Tomorrow I have to face it all again, think about it. Tomorrow I have to shift my frame of reference back from mom to cancer patient, and maybe we'll even have to make some tough decisions about treatment. I'm not dreading it, exactly. More like I'm not really thinking about it very much. Not yet. Please, just a little more time to feel normal.

22 comments:

Monkeymama said...

Spring is when everything is reborn and January is all about new resolutions, but Autumn is the season where I feel the most hopeful and excited about the future.

Maybe years of fresh school supplies, 1st day of school clothes, and the promise of a "new year?" I've been browsing the day planners at the bookstore and already composing this year's big events list that starts with fun Fall activities and goes through Christmas.

You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow. My parents live right between St. Paul and Rochester and my dad works there. Please drop me an email if you need anything like directions to a lunch spot or other info.

Almamay said...

I was like Daniel when I was little and loud things upset me.

Sending you love and thoughts for your appointment tomorrow. x

Anonymous said...

Hi Emily! A "lurker" here...
What a fun day. My daughter also used to freak out about the noise level at story hour....

I just wanted to let you know that I will be saying prayers for you tomorrow "God Bless Emily Lemmons".
Pam

k@lakly said...

Thinking of you and hoping for some positive news tomorrow...and many, many more days of feeling normal:)
xxoo

Erin M. said...

thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers for tomorrow.

i love when fall is in the air after a long, hot summer.

hang in there, emilie.

Barbara said...

I love the Madeline books!

I'm glad you've been feeling better lately. Think of it as a good omen! You'll be in my prayers tomorrow.

I think of you as a mom and treasured friend, not a cancer patient. The cancer is just a sort of incidental thing, something awful that's happened to you, which has nothing to do with the essence of you are.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Jenn said...

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Alex said...

Sounds like a great week you had :)

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, and hoping your week keeps getting better.

I don't even "know" you, but I do know that you deseve a miracle...anyone with as much love for their family as you have, deserves goodness.

Marketing Mama said...

It's amazing how it turned into fall overnight... I hope tomorrow goes well.

Anonymous said...

The buzz in the air being palpable - was that supposed to be a good thing, or bad? (I know you're not super-duper Republican yourself.)

I'll be praying for you tomorrow morning as you go to the Mayo Clinic. I know how any kind of cancer-related appointment can suck, although like many people say, the Mayo Clinic is extremely reputable!

- Susanne

Suzanna Catherine said...

Fall in the northern states is one of my favorite times of the year. I'm sure it is lovely -- with changing leaves and a little chill in the air. I'm glad you've been able to enjoy it.

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow while you have your appointment. Sending lots of healing thoughts and prayers your way.

Anonymous said...

I don't have the words to express how these posts affected me. I am in awe at your strength.
Mikecaz

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that you had a good week, Emilie.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Shannon

Jen J said...

Emilie~

My thoughts and prayers will be with you, Steve & the boys tomorrow.

I am further north of you, but Fall is in the air up here as well. I agree, it's a feeling of freshness.

God Bless you.

kristine said...

It's wonderful that you were able to have such a good day today.

You will be in my thoughts tomorrow.

darcie said...

Good luck at your appt tomorrow Emilie ~ Will be thinking of you and wishing you nothing but the best!

Amy M said...

Think sunflowers and candles. I'll be thinking of you.

Carey said...

Im glad you had a great day! Praying for you and your drs.

Sully said...

good luck today!

Jennifer V. said...

I have been thinking about you today a lot. More than normal, which may bring me to the side of stalker... or maybe obsessor... or I'll just take, a person who cares. :-)

Today, I hope you will get the information you need to make the decisions you are facing. I know Steve and your family (and friends too) will be there to help you through what ever path is your next.

Although you are a person with an awful thing called Cancer... You are a daughter, sister, friend, wife and most importantly... mother first.


With a caring heart-

LutherLiz said...

I hope that your appt today went well and there are new hopeful options for you to explore! *Hugs*

Piccinigirl said...

before I read any of the other posts, I will write that I hope (and my prayer is) that it all went well that your days are NORMAL are going to be MANY.

*hugs*