I'm sitting in the seventh floor lounge that overlooks the Mississippi River. I see a light sprinking of snow on the paths below and a good number of crunchy footprints and - what are those? - cross country ski tracks, or parallel bike tracks? I've heard it's been very cold this week. At least the sun is out, at least, glittering on the river.
I waited a long time yesterday to get started on chemo. I'm kind of getting used to the waiting - or at least learning to expect it. They moved me to this floor sometime in the early afternoon, but my chemo didn't begin until about 10:30 p.m. Which was OK because it meant I could sleep through most of it. My night sweats were really bad. I had to change my gown twice, and the nurse changed my sheets once, because everything was so damp.
I can't go home right away today because now they've told me I have anemia, on top of everything else. My hemoglobin count has been in the 7 range for the past couple of days, which is pretty low. So before I go home, I'm getting a blood transfusion. I balked about this when I first heard about it last night, but I'm OK with it now.
They told me they'd be giving me the tranfusion "in the morning," but knowing how long things take to happen around here, I've got my lunch menu ready. I just hope I don't have to wait until 10:30 p.m.!
I talked to Steve again this morning, and heard Benjamin's cheerful, burbling laughter. Daniel sounded grown-up and happy when he said "Hi" into the phone and then started telling me there was snow outside. I asked him if he was going to go outside and play in it, and suddenly I was no longer top priority - he gave the phone back to Steve and started going for his shoes. Steve said Daniel asked last night if Mommy was out in the hall, and that got me crying again, big-time. I wish I'd never have to be any farther than out in the hall. I wish I didn't have to think about him ever having to lose me.