Sunday, April 20, 2008

it's not good news

Dr. T. did reach me Saturday morning on my cell phone. I was alone with Ben, who was crying hungrily in my arms as I swirled a bottle of breastmilk in a pan of hot water on the stovetop to warm it up. Steve and Daniel had gone to the Children's Museum. I had to ask Dr. T. to wait while I hobbled into the living room, sat down on the couch and started feeding Ben.

"It's not good," he began. In short: The cancer has spread to my hip and my lungs. Yes, that is the reason my hip has been bothering me and not clearing up. All this time I thought it was pregnancy related, and instead it was this horrible, horrible cancer taking up residence in even more of my body.

I know this is an aggressive cancer, and that survival rates go down considerably when there is a recurrence. I didn't have the courage to ask Dr. T. for any quantifiable chances of treatment success, so I just asked if my prognosis was not very good. "It's not very good," he said. By the end of the phonecall, my hand was shaking so much that Ben's bottle slipped out of his mouth and he started crying again.

The next step is to meet with the medical oncologist, Dr. S., on Monday, where we should learn more and find out what's next. Chemo, most likely, Dr. T. said. And maybe they could do some radiation on my hip to relieve some of the pain, he said. He gave me his cell phone number in case Steve or I needed to ask him anything else over the weekend.

I sat on the couch, numb, uncomprehending, wishing Steve were there. Five minutes after I got off the phone, it rang again. It was Liz. She asked me how things were going. "Not good," I said, and started crying. She came right over and stayed with me until Steve got home.

Daniel was asleep when Steve walked through the door with him in his arms. I slipped Daniel's shoes off him, and we walked toward the bedroom to put him down for a nap. "I think I'll take a bath," Steve said. "Actually, we need to talk," I said. "Dr. T. got ahold of me." And as we slipped Daniel onto the bed and out of his jacket, I told him.

And then we cocooned ourselves in our house for the rest of the day and night, not going out or answering the phone. What followed — the words shared, the brokenhearted tears shed, the gestures of love exchanged, the precious innocence of our beloved children — I will leave to your imaginations.

* * *


Addendum: Monday afternoon. I can barely write about this right now. The oncologist today used the words: "probably not curable." So anything we are doing right now is a matter of buying time. I have a PET scan tomorrow and probably start chemotherapy next week.

Child care. We're going to need it more than ever. Thanks to those who volunteered before. I may be calling you.

And I'm probably going to have to wean Ben from breastfeeding in the next day or so, which is a heartbreak in itself. I can't do it for something like four days after the PET scan, and not during chemo, either.

Last night I popped a pacifier in his mouth for the first time when he was having trouble falling asleep. I thought, what the heck ... it's not like we need to avoid nipple confusion now. That's going to be the least of this sweet boy's worries.

I need to believe that a miracle is possible right now. At the same time, I need to face reality and prepare myself and my family for the worst outcome. Our poor boys. My heart is breaking a million times a day, and so is Steve's. It's so unfair.

If there is a bright side to any of this, it's that the unimportant, superficial things in our lives have suddenly fallen away, and we are intensely focused on what remains truly important, which is each other, our family, and making the most of the time we have together now. "It feels like we just met again," Steve said. Like we're falling in love all over again.

* * *


Excuse my lack of pants, but we had this totally wonderful family moment on the bed last night, and Steve ran and grabbed the camera. We've been doing that a lot lately ... documenting things.


Daniel loves to rest his head on Ben and "hug" him, especially when he's crying. He's really good at empathizing and anticipating Ben's needs. "Baby sad," he says. "Baby eat booby." "Mommy sad."

95 comments:

liz said...

Emilie, words fail me. Life is so damn unfair. I wish so much that I could be there and help you with all of those mundane things right now. Since I cannot, please know that Seth, my parents, our church, and I are praying for you and sending you so much love. I am brokenhearted for you, but I believe in miracles. Much love.

Anonymous said...

Emilie, you know we'll do absolutely anything we can to help you and your family. We loved having Daniel over today and want to do it often. Harry woke up from nap and immediately asked for Daniel. Not good news indeed, but so much will come from this time you have before you. God knows what adventures you'll have! Life is, indeed, precious. None of us knows the hour or day.

--Laura S.

Vicki (aka Kodi's mommy) said...

Emilie - there are no words to describe the sadness I feel in hearing this news. I wish there was something I could do. Anything.

LutherLiz said...

Emilie, I'm glad I could be there with you though I wish so badly that I could change the reason. So many people are praying for you and the whole family. You know my life can be flexible and I am willing to help out in any way that you need. Don't hesitate to call.

Tiffany said...

Emilie,

I have never met you, but have been following your blog for some time. I am a friend of Liz's. Please know that you have touched my life in ways that I can not explain. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. But, I can also tell you that miracles are possible. I have witnessed them and continue to witness them everyday. Just know that God has his arms around you and your family surrounding you with his love. God Bless

Soupy said...

Emilie
just know I am devastated right now. know you are in my prayers, and I am sending you all the love I can .......

Jenn said...

I'm so sorry. I wish I could make it all better. I'll be thinking of you.

kristine said...

Emilie -
You know, I have never met you and it's weird because I have known you for like 6 years now. My heart is breaking into a million little pieces as I read/type. Life isn't fair.
You know there are so many people that are here to help.support you in any way possible.
I know I am about 8 months pregnant here and have a 19 month old - but I would be more than happy to offer up myself as some help for you.
I think the lack of pants in the picture makes it even more personal/intimate. It's such a 'momment' in iteself. Thanks for sharing it despite the half-nakedness!

MIP said...

I know you don't know me, and I don't know you except through your blog- but hopefully every little bit helps. I can't even put into words how sad I am for you. You and yours will be in my thoughts.

Aimee said...

My heart breaks for you, Emilie. I am praying for you and your family.

Mrs. Fire Family Williams said...

I am fairly new to your blog and this is my first time posting. I wanted to let you know that I am holding you, your family and your doctors in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I'm a friend of Soup's. Please know that you have people all around the world praying for you and your family.

Amy said...

Emilie - I knew you and Steve from the Basilica of St. Mary a few years ago and we were in a book club together. I have been reading your blog since your article appeared in the Catholic Spirit.

No words can comfort your heartache right now and I write this message in tears.

We continue to hold you and your beautiful family in our prayers and pray for miracles of all kinds.

God Bless.

Amy (nee Johnson), Gerald and Benjamin Mimick

Monkeymama said...

Oh Emilie, I am so sorry. I know I am far away, but please let me know if there is anything I can do. You and your family will of course be in our prayers.

I think that picture is wonderful.

Carrie said...

Emilie,

You don't know me, but I read your columns in the Catholic Spirit, and started reading your blog because of that. I'm so, so sad to hear about your hip and lungs. Like many others, I was optimistic and so sure that the cancer had gone . . . and would stay . . . away. Your boys are both just precious, and they're so blessed to have you as their mother. Reading your posts it's obvious how much you love and cherish them. As a mother and wife, I find you inspiring. Please know that you and your family are in the prayers of many. My daughter and I will continue our prayers for a miracle.

Carrie

Piccinigirl said...

OMG Emilie, My heart is just broken right now. I do believe in miracles and am sending all the love in my heart to you and your family. While there is nothing I can, I hope you can feel what I am not saying, and holding you in my thoughts until the miracles come.
*in tears*

Laura said...

I am so sorry I can't seem to come up with anything better to say than... I am so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I can't imagine what you are going through and wish I could be there to help.

Elena said...

I am Emilie's best friend from college. She has been in my heart for 20 years. I don't read many blogs and I don't usually post comments to them. But I wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your messages of love and caring, especially those of you who have never met Emilie in person. I live in New York and have spent the last 3 days wanting to jump on a plane and fly immediately to St. Paul. Since that's not realistic, it's helping me to know that Em has so many people around her to give her and her family the love and support they need.

Jo on the go said...

Unfair has already been discussed. How about "wrong." Just plain wrong. I'm probably one of the few readers you have who doesn't go to church and believes in a higher power but doesn't subscribe to just one religion and still feels free to get pissed off at cancer, yes, maybe even at God, for picking the wrong lady to pick on. Gee, I don't usually have a temper but my sorrow has morphed into anger at this cancer, anger at the injustice of it. There are so many villains who should be suffering. Injustice. I guess that's another word for unfair.

If science doesn't know the answer for how to cure this, it's time to turn to other fields, I guess, while they do their best. I wonder if there are naturopathic/allopathic/holistic things to try, like eating a diet of just sweet potatoes, limes and figs.

I don't know if prayers count if they're not from a church patron, but I am praying and grieving anyway. Lizard and I are trying to figure out what we can do from so many miles away.

Roxy said...

we are here any time you guys need us.

and we believe in miracles.

Dave, Eva & Roxy

Ahuva Batya said...

Em, my deepest prayers are with you right now. It's all I can say, and it seems so very inadequate. Please call with childcare requests, food requests, hand holding requests. Miracles do happen. You are so strong, if anyone can beat this, you can.

Jamie said...

Emilie, I don't know what to say. I can't begin to tell you how much love I am sending your way - I hope that you can feel it. I do also believe in miracles - you are in my prayers.

I would also like to offer my services for food, childcare, cleaning, etc. Just like before I'm sure someone is organizing things for you - and I am also here to help.

Tulips said...

You don't know me, but I "met" you thanks to the TTC board. I've become a big fan of your beautifully-written blog.

I wanted to share how much I feel for you and your family during this time. You have lots of prayers coming your way from Virginia.

Anonymous said...

Emilie, you, Steve, and the boys have been in my thoughts non-stop since I heard the news. Please let me know if there is anything at all that I can do. Sean and I are heartsick for all of you. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Shannon

shinejil said...

Emily, you don't know me, but V.B. over at the Anguished Corn sent me your way. I am so very, very sorry to read your news, though we are strangers.

I'll keep you in my prayers, hoping that this time may be filled with deep love and joy, despite the difficulty and pain.

Anna's Mommy said...

Emilie-
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Theresa

Emily said...

Emilie,
I have been following your Blog since the Catholic Spirit article. You don't know me, but we share the same name (different spelling) and are only 12 months apart in age. I am a mother to 3 boys, and I too am a huge fan of Joshua Bell.

From reading your blog, I can see that you are an incredible writer, mother, and person - a true inspiration. I am deeply saddened to hear your devastating news and want you to know that I am praying hard for that miracle.

Emily S.

missy said...

Emilie,

Soups & Roxy updated me... I'm at a loss for words, my entire body is numb for you. Your whole family is in our thoughts & prayers. Please let us know what we can do help. Your MN family of friends is right behind you to help out however we can. Hug & Squeeze your boys.

Much Love,
Missy

Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I came across your blog one day and loved how beautifully written it is...I am lifting you and your family up in prayer and will continue to do so until you beat this cancer...our God is a God of miracles...believe it!!

Marketing Mama said...

Emilie, I'm so sorry. I have no idea what to say. What can I do?

Dramalish said...

God bless you and your precious family. I am so sorry and I'm praying for miracles, comfort, and time.

Nicole said...

Emilie, I am so sorry to hear this news. Please know that you are in everyone's prayers here in Oregon and all over the world. I am a strong believer in miracles; they happen every day. You are an amazing person and I have faith that you can successfully fight this.

P.S. Little Benjamin is absolutely adorable. Congratulations.

Much love,
Nicole

Ellen said...

It doesn't look like you're not wearing pants, so no worries here. Hey, Brittany did it....

Baby Steps to Baby Shoes said...

Here via anguished corn. I do believe in miracles and will be praying for you and your family.

Kristie said...

Oh Emilie,

I don't know what to say except that my heart is breaking for you, Steve and the boys.

Please let me know what I can do to help. I am close by and if you need anything I am there for you. Just call.

Anonymous said...

Have you asked about the possibly of surgical removal of the tumor growth in your lings? A doctor friend of mine researched your sarcoma and said there has been some success with "complete resection of pulmonary metastases".

mo*reezy said...

I just can't believe it. I can't imagine how disorienting this must be for all of you. I will be praying and will ask others to also. Wish I lived closer to help in other ways.

Molly said...

Another one here via anguished corn. Love and prayers to you and your family as you face the road ahead.

Wordgirl said...

I have found my way here through Ahuva at The Aguished Corn -- I'm another blogger in the Twin Cities, and now I'm another woman in this community sending my thoughts and prayers out to you -- it seems meager, and I wish it were more. I am so sorry for your news.

My best wishes,

Pam

Julia said...

Emilie, I'm a stranger from far away and a first-time commenter too, but I'm a friend of Roxy, Soups and Missy who's been following your blog. My heart is shattered at the news. I wish I was close enough to offer more, but know that you and your beautiful family have all of my heartfelt and constant prayers. I do believe in miracles, and I'm praying fiercely for one for you right now.

Julia

Anonymous said...

Emilie,
I just got to work and read this. I guess it's the same as what you told me on the phone.

Some things you can't "make the best of." They're simply horrific things. All you can say is the shit definately happens, life can really suck.

I do like your comment about how the little things in life have fallen by the wayside. In a way, that's what it's all about (sorry to sound like a cliche.)

- Susanne

Becky said...

Oh sweetie, I am so very sorry.

I hold you and yours in my heart today and every day.

Ellen said...

Is there a reason why this "possibly" cannot be cured? Then why would they give you chemo and not try another route, or at least start treatment earlier than next week? Can they use surgery again? Seems they should get you in for something sooner rather than later. Oh Em, I am crippled by all of this. My life (all of ours) has been darkened, but of course not as much as yours and Steve's I'm sure.

annacyclopedia said...

I'm another stranger who came over from The Anguished Corn. I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you peace, hope, healing, and much joy with your beautiful boys.

Anonymous said...

You are in my prayers and thoughts. You are such a beautiful writer i have followed your blog for a while but never have commented. Stay Strong.

JellyBelly said...

i am also here via ahuva's blog. you and your family are in my prayers.

and yes, i believe in miracles.

Anonymous said...

Emilie, I am wrapping you and your family in my warmest thoughts and deepest prayers.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of meeting Emilie in person, let me assure you that the glowing impressions you've picked up on in this blog are not only met but exceeded in real life. She is the real deal. Emilie is one of the most spirited, wise, witty and authentic people I have ever known. During the two years we shared a cubicle wall I learned volumes from her -- lessons about grammar, headline writing, integrity and living life fully.

-Christina

CLC said...

Hi- I found you via Ahuva's blog. I am sorry- I know those words are inadequate, but I don't know what else to say. I am praying for you and hope that a miracle comes your way.

Kerry said...

Emilie,

I am absolutely heartbroken for you and your family. I will be keeping each of you in my thoughts.

Kerry
(from the old TTC board)

Katie said...

I'm so sorry. I don't even know what else to say. You & your family continue to be in my prayers. I don't even know if positive stories help, but I have an uncle whose cancer was spreading & was told a bleak outcome. He's still doing relatively well 10 years lately, & has been doing a lot of experimental treatments. I hope that things turn out to be better than they look right now.

Eric, Cindy and Aidan said...

Emilie ~ I've never been known for a lack of words. I guess there's a first time for everything. My heart is absolutely breaking for you right now. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers and continue to send you love and hugs. Miracles do happen and I believe in one for you, Steve, Daniel and Ben. Lots of love.

PJ said...

Ahuva sent me. My heart aches for you. I'm wishing you warmth and peace.

Anonymous said...

I believe I am the third one on this thread to suggest inquiring about lung surgery. Perhaps you already have. I read an article about patients with retroperitoneal sarcoma that metastasized to the lungs. It looks like surgery is successful in a significant percentage of cases, if the tumors can be removed completely.

SmallTownMommy said...

Emilie
You are in my prayers. There are no words.

Kathy
(from old TTC board)

Anonymous said...

I couldn't think of what to write either. Everything sounded too solemn or cliche-ridden, anything philosophical would be inappropriate, etc. And only Ellen could have pulled off an even remotely amusing comment in this case! I have to say something, however. So ... I'm so sorry.

We should talk some time, if you're ever feeling up to it.
Ray

Courtney said...

Gosh Emilie I don't even know what to say. You and your boys (that includes DH) will be in my thoughts. Miracles do happen I think little Ben is the perfect example of that.

Mark said...

Emilie,

You don't know me, but my Niece, Christina Capecchi E Mailed us about your situation. I can't tell you how much your news breaks my heart. I am the father of five and a teacher at DeLaSalle High School, and I want you to know that you and your family are in our prayers and the prayers of the DeLaSalle family. God bless you!


Mark Capecchi

Anonymous said...

Emilie,
Part of me feels so mad at the doctors! Maybe I am missing something, but they seem to be giving up without even trying. Are they sure that chemo is the only option? Isn't there someone else out there who knows more about this type of cancer? Don't these physicians know that they should be doing everything possible to cure you? You are a young and otherwise healthy woman with two little boys who need their mommy. This is so wrong!

Beth said...

Emilie, my prayers, my family's paryers are there, with you, in your heart, yearning to cure you.

I'm a licensed childcare provider, I have Fridays off, let me know if there is anything I can help you with.

amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
V's Momma said...

I know we haven't talked as much lately, but that doesn't make you any less dear to me.
I have been thinking about you and praying for you since I read the update yesterday.
Any way I can be of help, please let me know - any time, any task.

Miracles - I certainly do believe.

love,
amy, beau and vinetta

Toes in the sand said...

Hi Emilie~
You don't know me and I found your blog many months ago and have never commented, but have read faithly. I cannot fully express the sorrow I feel for you and your family. I read your blog entry last night and you have weighed heavily on my heart and mind since. I am holding you all up in prayer. I pray you will get your earthly healing. Believe.

Anonymous said...

Emilie,

I've been thinking about you and praying for you all day. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. If there is anything at all I can do to help, please let me know, whatever you need. I will keep praying for that miracle. God bless you and your family.

Julie

Emilie said...

Wow ... I am just overwhelmed and grateful for all your kind words and prayers. Thank you, everyone.

Alex & Jill said...

Emilie, I was told about your blog from 'anguished corn'. As I read your post I couldn't believe what I was reading...my first thought, this isn't fair. I'm praying for God's healing hand to touch your body at this very moment. Many doctors are great at what they do but remember that God is our true Physician and He has a plan and purpose for everything that happens in our lives. I can tell by reading your blog and by the comments of your friends that you are a woman with courage. Don't give up...those little boys need their Mommy. I'm believing your miracle will come.

Anonymous said...

Emile Im a friend of Michele Greens, and she us about you and your situation on our Moms Group.

Im praying for you and I hope that thru the LORD and the Power of Prayer miracles will fall upon you!

BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! Ask everyone you know to PRAY for you and your family! The POWER OF GOD is AMAZING put HIM to work on your side!

Much love!
A friend in Northern California

Michele (Moosh) said...

I'm sorry I haven't posted until now--I just, well, I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I still don't. I can't find the words. There ARE no words. I am praying, praying, praying, and I have many others doing the same (this is when being a member of so many message boards comes in handy)....My current and past church members are also praying...and those that don't pray are sending good thoughts. In other words, there is so much "white light" and positivity coming your way.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do. ANYTHING. I'm minutes from your mom and your other family members and will housesit, petsit, anything if they want to fly out to see you!

I believe in miracles, too. And I believe if anyone can handle this with grace and optimism, it's you. You're amazing. Tons of hugs from Oregon.

Love
Moosh

Amy said...

Emilie, This is Amy (ackdyolen) from the TTC board. I have just sat here speechless since reading this. There are no words. I'm going to pray for you. I believe in miracles, I really do!! <3

sharon said...

Emilie,

I am at a total loss for words except to say that I will say a Mi Sheberach, the Jewish prayer of healing, for you and your loving family. Wishing you peace and strength.

Sharon Cohen

Jennifer said...

i just read your blog via anguished corn's post and I wanted to let you know that another Twin Citian is praying for you and your family.

April-C-A said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
April-C-A said...

Sorry, my delete.

I hardly know what to write or what to say to convey the level of compassion I feel. You are one of the most dignified and classy ladies I know. A true giver of the heart. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers. I do believe in miracles and I believe in you.

The Town Criers said...

Emilie--I was away for the weekend and hadn't opened up Google Reader until now. I am so sorry. I am just sending good thoughts and peace of heart.

Cate said...

Emilie, I found your blog through a friend, Matt - the one who lost his wife Liz recently. I didn't think I could become any sadder at the horrible injustice of life's frailties, but I've just reached a new low. I ache for you and your family.

One important thing I want to tell you is this: DON'T GIVE UP!!! Even though one doctor told you that there's not much hope, FIND ANOTHER ONE!!! Please don't leave any stone unturned. Please, please please try to find the most respected doctor in the world who specializes in this kind of cancer to see if they might have any other options to try. Don't take one doctors word for it, when there's this much on the line.

I will pray hard for you in the meantime.

A friend, from Los Angeles.

Ellen said...

Please get a second opinion. Or a third. Travel out of the state if you need, if that means you're going to be helped by a doc who is willing to go the extra mile to save your life. I feel like your doc right now is an asshole for telling you such frightening news over the phone and shrugging off your condition as something that's "not too good" and incurable. I am mad at your doctors for being so stoic because that's not the level of service we should put up with in this modern age where almost anything can be cured. Do not settle for what you've been told, and DO NOT SETTLE for someone who "mutters" bad news about your life under their breath. Your docs are assholes. Don't give up and be strong. Whip out your inner "type A" personality, because what do you have to lose?

Anonymous said...

Emilie,
Have you sought a second opinion on your options? While Dr. S. may be the local expert, perhaps there is an even better doctor in a different state (or country). Please look into every option possible. We have never met, but I would be more than willing to contribute to any fund that helps with your medical expenses (and travel if necessary).

Ann said...

I completely agree with Cate, Ellen, and Anonymous!

Anonymous said...

I'd try writing the MD Anderson Center in Houston.
Ray

surly said...

Emile, I found you via
Ahuva and am just discovering your blog. Though I don't know you, I'm crying after reading your latest news. I hope with all my heart that something miraculous can be done. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Sully said...

You and your family are in my prayers.

Journeywoman said...

That's just not fair. It's wrong. There are no words.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Heather said...

Emilie, as many of your 'fans' I do not know you personally, only through your blog. I am a friend of the Dorfners and have been folling your blog since the first diagnosis. I think you are a phenominal person, wife and mother. All 3 of your 'boys' are lucky to have you! MIRACLES HAPPEN and WISHES DO COME TRUE! I am wishing for a miracle for you! Love and happiness for you and yours!

Cibele said...

I am so sorry... I still believe in miracles and I hope that God has one reserved for you.
Hugs

Sheilah said...

Emilie,
I'm another stranger who found her way to you via Corn's blog. I am so sorry for this devastating news. As you read each message here, remember that we are all standing behind you, sending you our hope, love and fervent prayers.

Dan said...

We are strangers but my wife, Beth, showed me your blog and I wanted to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers. We are both inspired by the strength you are showing. Your story has made me hug my kids longer and closer the past couple of days since I heard it.

mo*reezy said...

God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble. And so we need not fear even if the world blows up, and the mountains crumble into the sea. The Commander of the armies in heaven is here among us. He, the God of Jacob, has come to rescue us!
Psalm 46: 1-2, 7

I know your world's just blown up. I had to come back and let you know that you are being prayed for way down in Florida.

Batyadsp said...

Emilie, I've read your wonderful affirmations on Ahuva's anguished corn blog and always admired your optimism and support; may all those sentiments come back to you many, many times over.

Michell said...

I have no words to express how sorry I am. I will send out positive thoughts or prayers or whatever I can that you receive a miracle.

orodemniades said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. May a miracle happen.

Katy said...

Emilie, I have been trying to wrap my brain around this since 8am this morning, and I just can't. I am so heartbroken for you, your husband and your two beautiful boys. I can tell you have amazing strength and I hope you can kick this once and for all. If it matters much, I am sending up prayers for you. It's just nothing about this makes sense. I'm so sorry you are going through this. God Bless, Katy (bug41704 from ttc original board)

Jen said...

Emilie, my twins are about Daniel's age and now my miracle surprise, Adam, shares your little Benjamin's birthday. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but please know that you've been on my mind all day and I am praying for you to be saved from this. It's unfair and wrong for someone who has such a positive outlook, someone who is such an inspiration, someone who's always helped me to appreciate the miracles in my life, to have to fight this battle. I have to believe another miracle is coming your way.

Jenni (JenniK1135 from the old msn ttc board.)

Jill said...

Hi Emilie. This is Jill/JPickles from the old TTC6+mos. board. Kerry e-mailed us to let us know about everything that is going on.
First off, I want to tell you that your boys are beautiful.
I'm really at a loss for words and I don't know what to say other than I am so deeply sorry to hear about all that you've been through. You're such a strong woman and I know you will fight to prove your doctor wrong. I can't begin to wrap my mind on how you feel and hope that the strengh of all the people who care so much for you will give you the strength to fight this.
Keep well, and I will start following your blog.
Much Love,
Jill (JPickles from the TTC board)

Tracy said...

Oh my dear Emilie and Steve. My prayers are with you. When I saw you at the James Sewell Ballet I has such joy to see your son had arrived. What a beautiful boy. I am so sorry of this turn in your cancer and am deeply impressed with your committment to keep a strong focus on your family at this time. We are with you.
Tracy Smith and Muriel

Nicole said...

Emilie,
You may not remember me but I was sent your link from Katy. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I wish I was closer to help with anything you may need during this time. Cancer has never touched my family but I do work with a young woman (37) who has had breast and lung cancer for the past 10 years. It is such a devasting disease that we need to find a cure for. Please know that you, Steve, and Ben and Daniel will be in my prayers daily. I truly wish there was more I could do.
Nicole (wedding18 from TTC board)

Betseeee said...

I'm another one who found her way here via Corn's blog. My heart and my thoughts are with you and your family, wishing you hope and strength.